For our wedding reception one of the favors we're putting on each table is custom fortune cookies. I'd like to put funny quotes on each that are wedding or love related. Anyone know some?
Much appreciated, thanks!
Hope these might help you -
“Came but for friendship, and took away love.” - Thomas Moore
“Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it.” - Swedish Proverb
“If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you.” - A. A. Milne
“I love you, and because I love you, I would sooner have you hate me for telling you the truth than adore me for telling you lies.” - Pietro Aretino
“I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you. I love you not only for what you have made of yourself, but for what you are making of me. I love you for the part of me that you bring out.” - Roy Croft
“For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.” - Judy Garland
Funny & silly quotes -
“My play was a complete success. The audience was a failure.” - Ashleigh Brilliant
“When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.” - Mae West
“The advantage of a bad memory is that one enjoys several times the same good things for the first time” - Friedrich Nietzsche
“The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.” - Oscar Wilde
“I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.” - Rodney Dangerfield
“The Jersey mentality is: I work, I drink, I stay up all night, I try to meet a girl, it's a waste of time.” - Gerard Way
“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.” - Drew Carey
“I am the only person in the world I should like to know thoroughly.” - Oscar Wilde
“I don't at all like knowing what people say of me behind my back. It makes me far too conceited.” - Oscar Wilde
“One should always play fairly when one has the winning cards.” - Oscar Wilde
“I have nothing to declare except my genius.” - Oscar Wilde
Besides, you'll get thousands of funny quotes here -
Here are the sources -
Quotesdaddy.com/quote/59255/ashleigh-b…
Jo W: Will you never participate fairly? You enter a weak, tired "Quotesdaddy" answer; and when the question goes to vote, your GANG of 15 voters blindly votes for your entry. Your scheme is particularly unfair to those who entered here: They did not start with 15 "CANNED" votes.
--RetroRay
“The woman cries before the wedding and the man after.”
“When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.”
“The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.”
“One good husband is worth two good wives"
Behind every great man there is a surprised woman
I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
You have to kiss a lot of toads before you find a handsome prince.
Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot
I got rid of my husband. The cat was allergic
Don't marry for money. You can borrow it cheaper.
"Marriage, noun: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two."--Ambrose Bierce
"Love at first sight is easy to understand; it's when two people have been looking at each other for a lifetime that it becomes a miracle." --Amy Bloom.
"Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere."-- Groucho Marx
"There is nothing nobler or more admirable than when two people who see eye to eye keep house as man and wife, confounding their enemies and delighting their friends." -- Homer, author of the Iliad
"My husband and I have never considered divorce... murder sometimes, but never divorce."-- Dr. Joyce Brothers
"Only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. One is to let her think she is having her own way, the the other, to let her have it." -- Lyndon B. Johnson
"To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the loving cup,
Whenever you're wrong admit it;
Whenever you're right shut up. " --Ogden Nash
"Marriage is the triumph of imaginafunny fortune quotestion over intelligence." -- Oscar Wilde
"Sexiness wears thin after a while and beauty fades, but to be married to a man who makes you laugh every day, ah, now that's a real treat." - Joanne Woodward
"Love is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing." - Goethe
"Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband a month before she marries him and what she thinks of him a year afterward, and you will have the truth about him." ~H.L. Mencken
"Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate. " ~Barnett R. Brickner
"Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight." ~Phyllis Diller
A warm smile is testimony of a generous nature.
A secret admirer will soon send you a sign of affection.
Love asks me no questions, and gives me endless support. Shakespeare
In the end there are three things that last: faith, hope and love; and the greatest of these is love.
Don't forget, you are always on our minds.
Love is for the lucky and the brave.
If you continually give, you will continually have.
If you want the rainbow, you must put up with the rain. - D. Parton
If you would be loved, love and be lovable.
The one you love is closer than you think.
Love always and deeply.
Your heart will always make itself known through your words.
Love begets love.
We cannot do great things; only small things with great love. - Mother Teresa
Love is like wildflowers...it is often found in the most unlikely places.
Love is the only medicine for a broken heart.
Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. - H.L. Mencken
Much more grows in the garden than that which is planted there.
One who admires you greatly is hidden before your eyes.
Only love lets us see normal things in an extraordinary way.
The greatest gift is love.
The time is right to make new friends.
There is no limit to love's forbearance, to its trust, its hope, its power to endure.
Those who have love, have wealth beyond measure.
To love is to forgive.
Hearts are not to be had as a gift, hearts are to be earned. - W.B. Yeats
Your heart is a place to draw true happiness.
Love conquers all.
Count your blessings by thinking of those whom you love.
“I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. First, let her think she's having her own way. And second, let her have it.” -Lyndon B. Johnson
"A man's wife has more power over him than the state has."
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't they'd be married too.” -H.L. Mencken
"A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished."
-Zsa Zsa Gabor
"I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her." -Rodney Dangerfield
“No married man is genuinely happy if he has to drink worse 威士忌 than he used to drink when he was single.” -H.L. Mencken
“A wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers.” -Grace Hansen
“If nature had arranged that husbands and wives should have children alternatively, there would never be more than three in a family.”
-Lawrence Housman
"Can you imagine a world without men? No crime and lots of happy, fat women." -Marion Smith
well when u cut the cake....shove it in his face and smear it everywhere and let him get as little as possible on u then give him a fortune cookie that says alls fair in love and war! :D hah i got to remember to do that for mine.....
How about adding personal jokes that you and your guy both laugh at, promises that you both make to each other and funny memories.
Here are some good ones I have found for you!
Behind every great man there is a surprised woman.
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A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he's finished.
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I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
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Marriage--a book of which the first chapter is written in poetry and the remaining chapters written in prose.
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Marriage requires a person to prepare 4 types of "Rings": Engagement Ring Wedding Ring, Suffering, Enduring
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They have come up with a perfect understanding. He won't try to run her life, and he won't try to run his, either.
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You have to kiss a lot of toads before you find a handsome prince.
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Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot.
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He early on let her know who is the boss. He looked her right in the eye and clearly said, "You're the boss."
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Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.
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The woman cries before the wedding; the man afterward.
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Marriage is like a violin. After the music is over, you still have the strings.
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Every mother generally hopes that her daughter will snag a better husband than she managed to do...but she's certain that her boy will never get as great a wife as his father did.
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Compromise: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her have her own way.
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A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
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I got rid of my husband. The cat was allergic.
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My husband said it was him or the cat... I miss him sometimes.
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"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?
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I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.
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Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't, they'd be married too.
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I married the first man I ever kissed. When I tell this to my children they just about throw up.
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Don't marry for money. You can borrow it cheaper.
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Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything in the house.
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In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.
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I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
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Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half-shut afterwards.
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When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
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An ideal wife is one who remains faithful to you but tries to be just as charming as if she weren't.
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By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
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If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.
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Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.
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My husband and I didn't sign a pre-nuptial agreement. We signed a mutual suicide pact.
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In olden times, sacrifices were made at the altar, a practice that still continues.
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Why get married and make one man miserable when I can stay single and make thousands miserable?
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The Three Ages of Marriage: Twenty is when you watch the TV after. Forty is when you watch the TV during. Sixty is when you watch the TV instead.
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Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day.
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Inertia accounts for two-thirds of marriages. But love accounts for the other third.
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My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
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With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.
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Why can't women tell jokes? Because we marry them!
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Men think monogamy is something you make dining tables out of.
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Bridge is a game that separates the men from the boys. It also separates husbands and wives.
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Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house.
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Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is.
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A man's wife has more power over him than the state has.
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Saw a wedding in the church. It was strange to see what delight we married people have to see these poor fools decoyed into our condition, every man and wife gazing and smiling at them.
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If Marilyn is in love with my husband it proves she has good taste, for I am in love with him too.
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If I get married, I want to be very mar
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